If you happened to read my post on Friday, I'm sure you could tell that I was more than a little annoyed!!
I was so wound up in fact that I decided it'd be a brilliant idea to go and get trashed with a couple of mates.
So there's me ringing round organising this night out, despite all the fuss i'd made on my post about the shitty smoking ban and eventually we agree to go into town.
So I get to my mates place and we all have a few pre club drinks (and fags) and decide to go to a bar called bar15.
Now luckily I’m not the type of person who feels the cold too much but even I was freezing as we walked down the street and I was pretty grateful of the warmth after i'd paid my £3 admission (which by the way is a bit of a joke, this place is tiny!).
Now for a little while, everything was going well. We were having a laugh and a few drinks and the only complaint I had was that I didn't feel drunk enough! It wasn't long though till I needed a smoke, it was cold outside so I tried to put it off but there was only so long I could go without so I grabbed one of my mates and announced to him that we were going out for a fag.
We went out and froze our arses off! This place doesn't have a single heater outside, they actually don't have anything....if you smoke....you smoke on the road.
So after a quick smoke we headed back inside and after some time started to warm up again. All was fine again till a little later....guess what....I needed another smoke.
I was gutted cos I knew I was gonna have to freeze again. Rather than drag a mate out, this time I thought I’d slope off by myself and not bring attention to the fact I was going for a fag. Let’s face it as a smoker, if anyone mentions they're having a fag, most of the time you fancy one as well but with the temperature so low I thought I’d spare my mates from the elements.
So there I am being good and going outside and then one of my favourite songs comes on...I can't remember which one it was....think the drink may have had an effect by then...but I remember cursing the ban whilst trying to smoke my fag in record time to get in and catch the end.
I didn't catch the end.
I was really pissed off at that point(I really wish I remember which song it was) and slumped against the bar ready to order my next drink.
After i'd been served one of my mates came over and asked what was up, I just brushed it off, said something along the lines of "argh, nothin" and sipped my larger. He then said that Mike (another mate) had made a move to the dance floor, we agreed we should head down there (about 2 metres away!) and I stuck my coat on a hook.
No sooner had I stuck my coat on the hook than Mike appear at the bar. This meant that we didn't go straight to the dance floor but just chatted at the bar. Mike went off for a smoke outside and promptly came back in shaking and a weird shade of blue....it was still cold!
He then disappeared again to the dance floor, he was a bit wrecked!
So then I notice Rob looking a little sorry for himself and have a chat with him. He reckoned he was fine but I wasn't too sure. I said I would chat when I got back from having a fag and he said ok.
So again faced with the bitter cold I started heading for a fag. Then I realised my coat was buried under about a million others on the hook, then I realised that (again) that it was cold outside....then I headed for the toilet.
Disclaimer The following paragraph is not a confession nor is it accepting full or part responsibility for the events in the toilets of bar15 on Friday, 14th and Saturday 15th December 2007.
So I got to the toilet and the cubicle was empty...Bonus. I went in and lit my cigarette in the lovely warmth...ok it was a toilet but it beats freezing your balls off! The toilet windows we open slightly so I tried my best to blow my smoke outside. I then noticed that there was some kind of wooden pane which seemed to stop them from opening too far...still though, I was doing a good job of getting 90-95% of the smoke through the gap. Then I hear the door. I didn't think about it too much, thought it was probably just some guy taking a slash but the more time I was in there the more I wondered who it was, I didn't hear the door again....I wondered if this guy was waiting for the cubicle or if I’d been busted. Then I thought surely they'd say something if I’d been busted?? So I carried on, then I decided if I was gonna get busted I might as well make it for something I consider illegal, so I got my keys out and scratched a little message on the wall "FUCK THE BAN" nice and large for all to see! So I put my keys away, straightened myself up and prepared for the unexpected, well half expected and then opened the door and stepped out of the cubicle.
As soon as I get out there's this greasy guy looking at me, announcing that he is the owner and that I have to leave. What a prick. So I asked him why and he said, "you know why" So I told him I didn't know what the hell he was on about and he starts going on about not being able to get away with smoking yadda yadda oh and threatens to get the bouncers to "deal" with me if I don't go now, naturally I told him to bring it on. So then he tries to grab me and I push him off and start walking back towards the dance floor. Shouldn't have turned my back! Some big bouncer dude grabs me from behind and before I could say "who the fuck!?" I was outside...without my coat!
I bet there are some fuckin gloating anti-smokers who have just read this and laughed. Probably also thought that it served me right. I'd just like to inform them that actually, they can FUCK OFF!
I was stood there for maybe a minute arguing with the bouncers (and this really annoying woman) when a really nice guy turned around and asked me what my coat looked like - went in and grabbed the wrong one then went in and grabbed the right one and gave it to me. How's that for smokers solidarity!
So the rest of the night was spent standing outside chatting with the bouncers, one of whom didn't like he ban either - and he is a non smoker.
Saw my mates pop out for a fag, told them to go back in and I’d wait, there wasn't too long left and then at 3ish we decided to go to Tesco for some more drinks and head back to my mates.
Oh shit, that's only Friday night .....I feel like I’ve already written a book!
